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<title>The COATED 19 Burger (comes with sticky BBQ sauce) by LeoLoptrson (LeotheSpaceHeadCase)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782183">The COATED 19 Burger (comes with sticky BBQ sauce)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeotheSpaceHeadCase/pseuds/LeoLoptrson'>LeoLoptrson (LeotheSpaceHeadCase)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bob's Burgers (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>COVID 19, Comfort Food, Coping, F/M, Food Issues, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other Ships Not Mentioned in Tags, Pandemics, Parenthood, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, binge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 05:15:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,305</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26782183</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeotheSpaceHeadCase/pseuds/LeoLoptrson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As if the Belcher's lives were not chaotic enough, the pandemic has reached Ocean Avenue. This is my first Bob's burger's fic! It is going to be a Bob-centric fic and will go to some strange, dark places as the Belchers (and friends) struggle to cope with everything 2020 has and continues to thow at the world.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bob Belcher/Linda Belcher</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>What started off as an excuse to moan about PPE has taken on a life of its own! I was going to wait until I had written more to post but got impatient :D This is the light-hearted start of a fic that is going to go to some very dark places (and some happy places too).</p><p>I'm from the UK, the pandemic started to majorly affect life here around mid March so this story starts sometime then but I'm not going to be strick about the timeline.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING AROUND HERE!!”<br/>
Louise climbed onto the bed and made sure to stand on, elbow and kick her parents’ bodies as much as she could as she made her way to the head end.</p>
<p>“Ow my face!!’<br/>
“Ughh, Louise what-”<br/>
“THIS HAS BEEN GOING OFF FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES!”<br/>
Louise yanked the alarm clock out of the wall and threw it on the floor. She jumped off the bed, stomped across the room and slammed the door, causing both parents to wince. There was a moment of silence whilst Bob became aware of his surroundings and his hang-over. </p>
<p>“Oh my god”<br/>
“Bobby? Are you as hung-over as me?”<br/>
“Worse”<br/>
“I’m gunna go barf”<br/>
Linda slowly got up and made her way, unsteadily, out of the room. Bob sat up then sunk his head into his hands. Jumbled pieces of the weekend started to come back to him -<br/>
Watching the news.<br/>
Closing the restaurant.<br/>
Linda on the phone to a hysterical Gayle for hours.<br/>
Lousie telling her siblings tales of a zombie apocalypse until Gene began to panic and Tina ran into her room, putting a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on the door and blasting ‘Bad Dance’ by Sleater Kinney* on repeat for what felt like hours.<br/>
Lin getting excited at the prospect of homeschooling, then panicking, then declaring she ‘will be the best teacher ever!’ after a bottle and a half of wine.<br/>
Himself panicking about money, until Lin suggested he swapped paying rent for giving Mr Fishoeder sexual favours. It was at that point, Bob had decided to join Lin in getting drunk.     </p>
<p>“I MADE COFFEE” Linda shouted from the kitchen. Begrudgingly. Bob made his way to join his family, He wasn’t looking forward to today, it was going to be long and boring but at least he hoped he would be able to open the restaurant again.</p>
<p>“Do you ever think our parents have a drinking problem?” Louise smirked as Bob entered the room.<br/>
“Ughhh”<br/>
Gene picked up his glass of orange juice and launched its contents over his shoulder.<br/>
“Now I have a drinking problem too!!”<br/>
“Gene!’<br/>
“What?”<br/>
-----------------</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The whole family had spent the morning helping to bring in a delivery of PPE and organise it in the basement. Bob thought ‘helping’ was too strong a word for it. Tina helped, Louise did eventually but not before getting angry.</p>
<p>“I’m not at school and you are making me work! You are interrupting my learning! This is child abuse! Neglect! SLAVE LABOUR!” She threw her arms in the air for added dramatic effect. “I could be looting right now!”<br/>
“No-one is going looting”<br/>
“But Father” Louise whimpered and did her best attempt at ‘puppy dog eyes’ “We are so poor and the streets are so empty...”<br/>
“Not gunna happen Missy! It is tempting though.”<br/>
Gene had started to help but got distracted easily - he blew gloves up like balloons, adorned himself with single use masks and aprons in various ways and gave his mother a ‘fashion show’.</p>
<p>“Ooo Look at my little Naomi Campbell!”<br/>
Out of curiosity, Tina put a mask and visor on. The visor pushed against her glasses, causing them to press painfully into her nose. She looked around and waved her hands in front of her face”<br/>
“It feels like I’m underwater”<br/>
“You look like a stormtrooper!” Gene excitedly picked up one for himself.<br/>
“More like riot police”<br/>
“Tina’s right” Linda announced, trying to arrange one over her face in a way that didn’t make her glasses poke her in the eye. “Your depth perception gets all messed up! No knives for you whilst wearing one of these Mister!”<br/>
“That’s going to be, ugh, interesting”</p>
<p>Bob had been about to tell the kids to stop wasting the PPE, when there was the sound of someone knocking loudly on the door of the restaurant. </p>
<p>“Crap. Okay, everybody upstairs so Hugo and Ron can teach us how to do our jobs.” Bob ordered with sarcastic enthusiasm.<br/>
“Arghh!” Tina yelped as she tripped up that stairs “I can’t see! I’m blind!”<br/>
“No sweetie, your glasses are just steamed up” Linda helped her eldest child up.<br/>
“Oh, right, I knew that, I was just, ughh, being dramatic... because life is full of drama.”<br/>
“You bet it is sister!”<br/>
“Come on guys, that ‘COVID safe’ certificate won't sign inself, let’s get this over with.”</p>
<p>With that, they all somewhat reluctantly made their way to the restaurant.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>I wrote the second part of this chapter days ago but struggled with the scene before it but I like how it turned out.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I really hope I can get the tone of each character ok! </p><p>*word*  = singing</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I got everything apart from chopped tomatoes and toilet paper. The tomatoes are not a big deal but the toilet paper might become one.” Bob shouted as he climbed the last few steps into the flat.</p><p>“We should just start using Tina’s diary!” Gene suggested from the living room.<br/>
“Or her eroctic friend fiction!” called Louise.<br/>
“I’m not going to dignify that with a reply” Bob shouted back and shook his head. “No-one come running to help your Dad with all this shopping then” He moved clumsily across the hall. “I’m fine by the way!”<br/>
“You need the exercise!”<br/>
“I love you too Louise. Lin?” He shouldered the kitchen door open, just as his wife started to sing.</p><p>“*Homeschoolin’! Yeah! I’m homeschoolin’! There’s no need to have a test cos Mom is gunna be the best at, Homeschoolin’! Yeah Homeschoolin’ Now! Gunna get my friends involved to teach the kids stuff they’ve been told!* Oh hey Bobby, shopping go ok?”<br/>
“Fine, apart from toilet roll but we should be able to get some through a business supplier, hopefully.”<br/>
“That’s weird” Linda had stopped dancing around the tablet, which was covered in paper she had been drawing tables on and helped to put the food and other bits of shopping away. “I didn't think corona gave you diarrhea”<br/>
“It doesn’t. I just think people are idiots. You should see it out there, people fighting over the last toilet roll, like the world is ending.”<br/>
“Aww Bobby, people are just scared! And seeing the news, most of the world in lockdown, it kinda does feel like the world is ending.”  </p><p>Bob’s face dropped as Linda’s words hung in the air. She was right, he thought, not that the world was ending but people were scared. He couldn’t allow himself to be scared, he had a wife that valued his support, kids to look after and a restaurant to run. But he had been scared the day he had to shut the restaurant. How long would he have to be closed for? How would he pay the rent? Would the kids get sick? Or Lin? Or his Dad? Or even Teddy? Mort? Or his in-laws? Would the deliveries be ok? Would there be any customers? He had been engulfed by such an avalanche of apprehension that day, he had ended up vomiting then fainting out of pure anxiety and exhaustion. Not one of his proudest moments. Since then though, he had managed to put his fears aside by focusing on the realities of turning his restaurant into a take-out. </p><p>“Bobby?”<br/>
“Huh?” Bob realised Lin had been talking but he had not heard a word. She had sat down at the table with wine and a packet of cookies. He’s just been standing there with his mind miles away.<br/>
“I knew you weren’t listening! Whatsamatter?”<br/>
“Nothing, sorry, you were saying?”<br/>
He poured himself some wine and took a cookie. Linda was looking at him with concern written on her face.</p><p>“I’m fine!” he snapped, as he sat down opposite her. There was a moment of quiet whilst he drank his wine and ate cookies until his face visibly relaxed.</p><p>“Ok. I was just saying I have fantastic news! With just a few nudges to both of them from me, Gayle and her cats are moving in with Mr Frond for lockdown!”<br/>
“That is fantastic news! And I’m not just saying that cos I hate your sister and her cats, I mean, I don’t hate Gayle, she’s just weird and I don’t hate her cats, I like them, they just hate my lungs and my face and my skin. But yeah, that’s great! I mean that’s great for her! It’s a big step.”<br/>
“You don’t think it’s too big a step do you? I’d have said she could move in here but no-one knows how long lockdown is gunna be and I thought this would be good for her, they seem good together and I just didn’t want her to be on her own.”<br/>
“I think you did a good thing Lin, this could be great for her.” Bob smiled at his wife, mostly with a sense of relief that he would not have to put up with Gayle and the cats but also because he knew how much her sister meant to Lin and he did, genuinely, hope it worked out well for Gayle. “It must suck to live alone at the moment.”<br/>
“That brings me to what else I’ve been doing today - lesson planning!” </p><p>Linda grinned with excitement and passed the large sheet of paper she had been working on across the table. Bob took it and frowned.<br/>
“Woodworking with Teddy? And biology with Mort?”<br/>
“You can’t tell me you weren’t going to have Teddy in our ‘support bubble’? He’s your best friend!”<br/>
“Um, sure, I mean, I hadn't really thought about it yet”<br/>
“He’s already planning activities! Mort took a bit more persuading but said he’ll do a few lessons until he gets too busy.”<br/>
“Too busy? That, uh, grim. You sure that’s appropriate?”<br/>
“Meh, I dunno but I hadn't seen Louise's face light up like that in weeks! Besides, they should learn about the body or else they might learn it from somewhere worse, like hardcore porn or something.”<br/>
“Good point. Math? Ugh, no offence Lin but you suck at math”<br/>
“I know, that’s why you’re doing it”<br/>
“What?”<br/>
“You and the cash register”<br/>
“Oh, ok, I guess that’s fine.” Bob paused and looked up, lovingly, towards his wife. He moved his arms forwards and encircled her hands with his. “You are wonderful, you’ve got this all planned out, you got this.” he smiled<br/>
“We got this. Now let's get the kids to bed so we can finish the wine and cookies, then pass out.”<br/>
-----------------</p><p> </p><p>Bob stared absent-mindedly out the restaurant window and sighed. He supposed that, apart from the day he had had to close the restaurant, he had been walking around in a state of apathy since the first news of the pandemic, maybe longer. It had only been a few weeks since it had begun to directly affect his life but he already felt like he was drowning. The constant stream of depressing news, statistics, empty streets, new regulations, anxiety over COVID, money, boredom and the ever-present sense of uncertainty had condensed into a heavy, empty feeling of foreboding in the pit of his stomach. Bob felt like he was living in a dream state, where everyday was grey, despite how hot and sunny it may be,  and he was only able to see life outside through glass or screens, watching it pass him by. </p><p>He felt surprisingly anxious as he got into bed that night, about everything and nothing at the same time. Lin was already in bed, she was facing away from him but he could tell that she wasn’t asleep.</p><p>“Lin?”<br/>
“Yeah?”<br/>
“Do you think I’m depressed?”<br/>
“What? No! Well, maybe… But if you are, then the whole world is. Life is weird at the moment.”<br/>
Linda turned and looked up at her husband. Truth be told, he did look sad and tired, he had seemed distracted recently. </p><p>‘Oh Bobby” She sat up and wrapped her arms around him. “You are such a wonderful, clever, kind, man. Life just feels so out of control at the moment but we are getting through it. Everyone is going through this, we’ve just godda try to be glad that our family is safe and well. We just have to hold tight and life will get back to normal eventually. You look tired, let’s get some sleep.”<br/>
“Thanks Lin. I love you”<br/>
“I love you too”<br/>
Lin settled back down in bed but Bob worried that he would not be able to sleep with that heavy, empty, distracting feeling in his stomach. Was he just tired? Was it anxiety? Was it just what everyone else felt at the moment? It was a yearning but he did not know what for. A hunger. Maybe he was just hungry. That was it. Just hungry, he repeated it in his head in an effort to placate himself. He looked to Lin and found she had already fallen asleep. He slipped out of bed as quietly as he could and made his way to the kitchen. An overwhelming feeling of nervous, excited, anticipation arose from the blackhole in his stomach. It felt as if one second he was standing in the dark kitchen, the next he was shoving food in his mouth as if he hadn’t eaten in days.  It was a chaotic compulsion. He grabbed whatever was in his grasp - bread, lettuce, cheese, ice-cream, cookies, tomatoes, ham, crackers, orange juice, dry cereal, chips, mayo, he lost track. Bob felt exhilarated, almost like he was high or drunk. He only stopped when he thought he might vomit. He stood there grinning, heart pounding in his ears, breathing hard.  But slowly the elation was replaced with feelings of confusion, disgust and shame. He was also suddenly exhausted. He sleepily cleared up the surprising amount of crumbs, spills and wrappers he had left strewn about the kitchen as his whole abdomen started to hurt. He decided to sleep on the sofa as he didn’t want to disturb Lin so staggered his way into the living room. He sat on the sofa and, despite the pain, fell asleep almost instantly.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Food issues were not a part of my origanal plan but I never stick to plans anyway! It just sort of happened (unsurprising with me brain!) as they do in real life. I hope it doesn't feel too forced or OOC but then everyone is a bit OOC atm, there's a pandemic going on!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*It is canon that Tina listens to them https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kc1htX3q-F0</p></blockquote></div></div>
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